Archive for October, 2010

numb journal #2 10.8.10

so my plane landed at around 9:05pm last night at seatac. my flights went well and both were smooth. the second flight seemed a lot quicker than the first. im not sure what all imma be doing today but i guess only time will tell.


currently my location is on a plane being taxi’d down the runway in Portland,Oregon. I am on my way to Seattle,Washington to see my sister and her fiance. I don’t know how long I will be staying but I know it could be for either a short time or a while. So I guess Im just going to see how all this goes

you tell me to leave

but now i cant see

what is there in life

something that has become

but never inside of me

false are the lies

that have become

this darkened heart inside

a story left in peices

of a life that used to be

alone within and never followed

this fire burns inside of me

update 10-5-10

so lately I have been getting more and more into music. I have mostly been searching for songs and bands I’ve never heard before that have a meaning to me and that I can relate to. Here is the video to one of the songs I can relate to right now.

things so far

So for the first time in a while, I am just getting back into blogging. For the last four weeks I have been homeless and things have not been easy. I am currently looking for a job and serious musicians who want to start a band. Last night, I got kicked out of the shelter I have been staying at for the last four weeks because I got caught up in using and I’ve been hanging with the wrong people. So now I’m really struggling as I’m trying to get my shit together. I don’t even know if anyone reads this thing but either way I have to get out what I’m feeling. I don’t mean to bring anyone down or complain about the way things are  going but I need something to do. If there is anyone reading this who needs a friend to talk to please leave me a comment. I need to know there’s someone out there who cares and who can show how a true friend really is. I have been through a lot in life and I know how cold this world is. From the ages of 2 1/2 to 16 I was sexually abused and even though it is not going on anymore I still struggle day to day with the flashbacks and memories I have been left with. I will post an update whenever I am able to and say how things are going and be there for anyone who is  searching for the same type of support I am. You can also get ahold of me by sending me an email at